Primary excitement

Its been a fun adventure since I joined the Primary Presidency. Yesterday was exceptionally exciting. I was directly handling two "fun" kids, and there was even a third one! Allow me to set the stage- I conducted, and we had the new sunbeams do the scripture and talk. (I just BARELY realized that both of the boys that had problems were the ones that participated!!) I'm going to change their names "to protect the innocent." :) Jeffry gave the scripture, and Lewis gave the talk.

At the beginning of the year, primary goes through a lot of changes. Some of the nursery kids become sunbeams, and instead of playing for 2 hours straight, they have to sit, sing, and learn for 2 hours. So this week, Jeffry was getting up from his chair, and talking, and getting in the way of the chorister (and she's even 7 or 8 months pregnant, by the way), so I decided to sit next to him and help him stay in his seat. My mom taught me (by example) how to "corral" a child. You don't need to hold them tightly, you just keep your arms about an inch or two away from them. So they can't go anywhere, but you aren't being "too physical." Anywho, I'm sitting by him, and we continue in a sort of dance for about 5 minutes. He occasionally wiggles out of my arms, and runs past the chorister to the piano, and then back towards the primary kids and tried to hide under a bench- so I went over to get him, and he threw his hands up (on purpose) and hit me in the face!

Now, I'm not a mother so I'm not an expert, but I have seen my parents with the younger kids, so I know two things: bad behavior (like hitting) can't be tolerated, so I couldn't just ignore it, and a child needs to know that acting up won't get them what they want. He wanted to be able to run around in the room and do what he wanted...so I picked him up and carried him outside to the hall and I found a chair. I put him in the chair and explained to him that hitting is bad, and that if he won't behave in primary, he would have to sit outside with me, and he couldn't sing and have fun with the other kids because he wouldn't sit still. Long story short, he fussed about wanting to go back in, but he was basically cooperative. I held his hands, and we talked.

Meanwhile, the entire time I was working with Jeffry, our sunbeam teacher had been dealing with Lewis in the hallway. When I took Jeffry out, Lewis was hollering while hiding behind one of those small tables they keep in the classrooms, and the teacher was trying to get him out. Once I got Jeffry under control, I traded places with the teacher. Lewis wasn't just "I'm so sad!" crying, he was "I'm mad at you!" crying. My entire experience with Lewis took about 30 minutes. I pulled Lewis out from behind the table, and put him on my lap- using the same sort of "holding" technique that I used with Jeffry. I held him, but he could still move a bit. So we sat on the table and I tried talking to him. After a while, he finally responded. I asked if he was mad, and he shook his head. I asked if he was sad- and he nodded. Then I asked what he wanted- of course, he wanted his mom. (She happened to pass by, and he saw her. So I let him hug her, she told him to go back to primary, and then we walked back down towards primary. She said if I needed her, she'd be in the Relief Society room.) He wanted his mom, but I explained to him that his mom wanted him to be in primary, and that she wanted me to take care of him, and he screamed. Long, and loud, and angry. So I took him into one of the classrooms and we walked back and forth. I tried singing to calm him down, but he didn't stop crying.

Now, I know that my calling isn't to hold screaming toddlers, but I don't like giving children what they want, just because they are screaming. It gives them the wrong message. So I held him. After a while, instead of trying to push away from me with his arms, he was hugging me. I could tell that he was tired. I tried to get him a drink at the water fountain, but he refused. So we went back to the classroom and I explained that I couldn't take him to his mother unless he stopped crying, because it would disturb the other people in his mom's class. It wouldn't be nice, so if he calmed down, I would take him to his mom. He started to breathe a little more in between sobs, so I approached the door. The minute I opened the door, he was silent. So I walked him downstairs and we went to the relief society. While we walked, I explained that he had to stay calm when we reached his mom, or I'd have to take him back out of the classroom. We got there before relief society had begun, so I found his mom, and he went from snuggling into me, to snuggling with his mom.

So I felt successful. I know it wasn't necessary, and it wasn't my concern. But I felt it was important not to let the boys get away with anything, just by acting up. I have to say, I'm pretty patient (as long as I'm not waiting for food!) so I knew I could out-wait their behaviors. And while all this was happening, Lewis' older brother went "to the bathroom" and we found him hiding in the utility closet with the vacuum. I'm definitely enjoying the experience, but I guess starting a new year of primary is hard for everyone!